Communication matters!

It's incredibly difficult to face the challenges that come with aging parents, loved ones or even yourself. It can be awkward or uncomfortable to talk about the need for care in the home. There may be uncertainty about expenses. Issues ranging from "strangers in the home" to "which is better, home care or facility care?" are just a few of the myriad issues families face when it comes to aging and health care.

So how does a family successfully navigate these uncharted and sometimes scary waters? Here are a few simple suggestions for you to consider.

1. START- Yes, it's that simple. Someone has to initiate the conversations. It might as well be you. Maybe you know your loved one, and this discussion would best be received by a different family member. That's awesome! Then they can start the dialogue! But don't wait. Set a date, make an appointment, plan a family meeting... just do it.
2. PLAN- Before you "START", determine beforehand what the options are available. That doesn't mean only include the options you want, or only the options you believe your loved one will accept. Options include home care, family intervention, or even moving to a senior community or facility. You don't need to have all of the answers to every question. It would be nice to have adequate information about the various options to make the conversation productive. Do your homework.
3. LISTEN- As you share your concerns about the situation, make sure that you and other family members are committed to listening to the concerns, fears and issues your elderly loved one may have. It doesn't mean that those issues take priority or drive the decision. What it means is that you're committed to including them in the dialogue about the future, and that you care enough about them to authentically listen to their feelings on the journey to that decision.
4. LOVE- Relationships matter. Don't lose sight of that. This is your parent, grandparent, spouse or dear friend. They need to know your heart is focused on their safety and well being, as well as the health of a spouse or other caregiver who may have been carrying a load that has gotten to heavy. Encourage, affirm and make sure the individual needing extra care understands the heart behind this discussion.
5. WAIT- Wait, what was that? Wait? You're saying, "I thought we were supposed to do something!"  You are. But after a conversation like this, your loved one will need some time to process. Very seldom is this an "emergency" situation where a decision is needed immediately. Give them some time to process the options, look at finances and deal with their own feelings. At the end of your initial meeting, set a time to come back and visit again.

These are only a few suggestions for you to consider! Know that the member agencies of the OPHC are committed to helping you and your loved ones make the most informed and best fitting decisions regarding the love and essential personal care services for your precious elderly family and friends!

Page Cole
Owner/Dealer in Hope
Visiting Angels of Tulsa
Visiting Angels of Bartlesville
Visiting Angels of SWOKC